Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
