just tell him i said nine months
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
