This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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