would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
