He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
