then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
