This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
