So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
