I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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