sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
