How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
