I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
