he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
