Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
