She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
