if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
