I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
