YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
