I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
