so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
