Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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