If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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