The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
