that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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