This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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