R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
