I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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