i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
