That's intense
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
