Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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