i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
