i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
