Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
