I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
