Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
