marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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