oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
