I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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