I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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