he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
