I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
