its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
