Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
