How'd it feel making her break her religion?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
