this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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