that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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