how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The best revenge is premature balding
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
