I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
