The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
