its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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