I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
