so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
