i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
