Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
