sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
