Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
