so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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